Caroline Moss came to the same conclusion the rest of us did when she tweeted, "What did you accomplish in 2014? personally I spent the entire year staring at my phone." Who needs nature when you have technology, right?
Happy New Year's everyone!
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
— INNOCENCE OF MAYHEM (@liliths_lair) December 29, 2014
Whenever he says "no" to me I always remind him that Noah wrote Allie 365 letters for 365 days
— L O R I (@LoriLuvsShoes) December 28, 2014
2015: be more of a khloe and less of a kourtney
— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) December 31, 2014
getting in my hot serial takes™ under the wire then no more in 2015
— Rachel Syme (@rachsyme) December 30, 2014
what did you accomplish in 2014? personally I spent the entire year staring at my phone
— Caro (@socarolinesays) December 31, 2014
Walmart intercom: Guy in Too Illegitimate to Quit shirt please come to the front
* 5 mins later*
W: Sorry I should have been more specific.
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) December 30, 2014
Sheila's log
12/31/14 12:30 am
The kittens have found a Qtip & a golf ball and all hell has broken loose.
Save me
Please
— NotTHATSheila (@peb671) December 31, 2014
Here's a guide to travel around New York City on New Year's Eve from least to most expensive:
Subway
Cab
Buy a car
Uber
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) December 30, 2014
If New Year's Eve was like 'The Purge' I would maybe think about going out.
— Molly (@Molly_Kats) December 31, 2014
Bought plastic New Years tiaras off the street & am very excited to break them into little pieces & throw at people like Cady Heron 2nite
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) December 31, 2014
Somebody in Europe used my debit card to spend thousands of dollars on video games and e-cigs. @Chase, can you find out if he is single
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) December 30, 2014
My laundry method: If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there.
— clare graham (@ClareNV_G) December 31, 2014
If any of you receive drunken messages from me, it wasn't me.
— bourgeois beth (@bourgeoisalien) December 30, 2014
I'll put a bra on, so ya, I guess you could say I'm 'dressing up'
— barbara the ninja (@ninjadinosaur1) December 31, 2014
My only New Years resolution this year is have sex.
With someone else.
— Ginger (@GingerJ17) December 27, 2014
Bring in 2015 the same way you came into this world. Naked and screaming.
— van (@vanluvz1) December 31, 2014
I know you're a guest and all, but if you squeeze my toothpaste tube in the middle one more time, I'm gonna lose my shit.
— Breathing is Good (@dancefeverbarbi) December 30, 2014
I miss you, I REALLY hope to see you soon ..seriously!!!
*Hallmark card for a missed period.
— Darling Nikki (@NicoleRasmuss75) December 31, 2014
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: finish at least one page-a-day calendar
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 29, 2014
new years resolution: get rich or cry tryin
— tina (@tinatbh) December 29, 2014
Didn't think Times Square during New Years could get more aggravating... Then God created the "selfie stick" #grrrrr
— jen cody (@Jen__Cody) December 30, 2014